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[Ithaca College] So I was at office hours with my professor and she asked me what I was doing this weekend. This is the exchange: Prof: What are you up to this weekend? Me: Well, my friends are shooting a movie at my house. So I’m not getting any sleep this weekend. Prof: Are you shooting a porno? Me: Uhh….no…. Prof: Good. Pornos, yup. Side note: My prof is 40-something and has had 4 husbands. [GWU] Dear fat bitch sitting in front of me: eating an entire avocado as an in-between class snack is not going to help you lose weight. [Oregon] Kid walks into class with sharpie all over his face. Professor: Big night last night? Student: Can’t remember. Professor: Judging by the large penis on your forehead and the detailed drawing of a goat giving birth, I’m gonna go with yes. [San Francisco] Some girl just took 5 minutes explaining to my environmental science class that greenhouse gases aren’t actually green. I can’t remember her whole speech but she did throw in this gem: “It’s just a saying….like….it’s raining cats and dogs.” I really hope she’s a theater major. [Texas Tech] Student: You know that Justin Bieber’s music videos have over 100 million hits on YouTube. Professor: It’s over. The terrorists have won. Girl: I love Justin Bieber!!! Professor: You should be considered an enemy of the state. [Baylor] My teacher just wrote on my facebook wall: Stop facebooking. I get a little update every time you write a note to somebody on this stupid site. You got a 62% on your last test. Open a book. [Cornell] Professor: “Anyone have tickets for the game tonight?” (Two students raise their hands) Professor: “Drink lots of herbal tea and enjoy your day off.” [Ithaca College] Professor: “I married young. I got my girlfriend pregnant at a very young age – Not really sure how that happened.” [GWU] I’m trying to bang out a paper in the library. There is a girl sitting in the cubicle opposite mine. Her study aids appear to be some kind of fruit chewing gum, which she chomps on extremely loudly while blasting Wildcat by Ratatat through her iPod. The combination of overpowering gum stench, chewing sounds, and leaking electro-rock rendered my brain totally useless. I lean over the table to politely ask the orange-faced, pink-nailed female to turn down the music a little bit. Rather than the polite “oh, so sorry, sure thing”, that I was expecting, miss fake tan glares back at me with dead eyes, snickers, collects her things, and moves to a far away table. Fate smiles upon the brave. [Ithaca College] Our professor was talking to us about how buying golf clubs is all about marketing and not the actual product: Professor: “I mean….it’s just a long stick, with a big head, and you smack around balls.” |
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Classroom Idiots and any other parties involved in creating, producing, developing or delivering |
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